Tossing a Wobbly and Missional Motherhood

Tossing a wobbly is how Australians say 'pitching a fit'. 

We are currently at our Global Orientation Conference in Holland. This is our last and final step before our new lives in Montenegro. 

As we entered the Meeting hall that morning, we are told that then entire day will be an intense cultural simulation day. We are given no information of what will happen that day except that we will be brought out of our comfort zone to learn more about ourselves before we experience  real stressful situations on the field. To make matters more interesting, our family of 4 was put on a team with 5 teenagers from Germany, and Jesse was assigned to be the team leader. 

The day was basically a full day of receiving a passport, applying for a visa, buying a ticket, as tumultuous travel, then arriving in a (simulated) aggressive Islamic country and being harshly questioned by authorities, then finally arriving in a host culture. 

This sounds harmless enough, but they make it as frustrating as possible, we were in small spaces for hours, I got peed on twice, luckily by my own children. They always called us to move while I was nursing Xander, he never got an uninterrupted meal and was quite cranky for his normal jovial self. We arrived in our host culture, it was 3:45 and the babies had not had a nap. It sucked. We were challenged to communicate with people who did not speak a word of English, my children however were both tossing wobblies! forget learning a greeting in a new language, we were trying to keep Soren from choking as he kicked and screamed and threw precious cultural statues around the room. Needless to say I was intensely frustrated. 

After we put the kids in bed, then it was my turn to toss a wobbly, I went on a 5 minuet tirade about how frustrating the day was and how it did not accomplish the kind of  'intuitive self reflection' they were aiming for!  I said "what did I learn about myself? that traveling with kids sucks, I did not need that reminder!" We will never be in that over dramatic situation so why did they do this to me!

If I am perfectly honest, even in my frustration God was showing me a VERY IMPORTANT truth I will never forget! 

I have had an interesting question on my mind about how to balance ministry life with Montenegrins and ministry life with my family. When I decided to be a missionary I was single, now I have precious family that take a majority of our time. When was praying to God last year that he would show me what role I was to play overseas, I found out i was pregnant the next day.  God wants my first ministry to himself, next to Jesse, then my children, AND THEN the Montenegrins. Although this hierarchy has been set and confirmed over and over through prayers, i still have no idea what it will actually look like.

So here is the obvious but important truth as I strive to achieve balance for Gods will for my life and ministry:

I cannot focus on others until my families spiritual, physical, and emotional needs are met.

The image of me trying to learn the Tunisian word for 'thank you' as Soren is screaming in my arms is the perfect illustration of his physical need for sleep taking precedent over anything else. But I also cannot neglect their spiritual and emotional needs, or Jesse, who's wobbly tossing is much more subtle.

Balance: with all this I must rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my actions. I could easily hide behind my role as a wife and mother to stay in my comfort zone. I could ignore a frustrating situation He is calling me to under the umbrella of my families needs. While I am their mother, they belong fully to Jesus and I must entrust everything to Him, from diaper rash, to the Spiritual condition of their hearts.

 God, your faithfulness is exciting. I am made knew by the work You are doing in my life as You continually changes my roles and priorities, Mostly i am excited because i know when we are obedient and have faith in the midst of the unknown, miracles happen. I don't know what you are going to do in the lives to the people of Montenegro through my ministry as a wife and mother,  all i know is you are marvelous and powerful and delight in demonstrating your glory through an obedient heart!