Upon returning for our second term, God has given me eyes to see His goodness. The purpose behind the fight.
My disappointment with God was born out of Pride.
The Pain was directly from the rod of a loving father.
God was not enough,
I wanted MORE than His portion. I wanted results, movement, victory in the seen
things.
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I have shared before Chronicles 28 was a specific word from
the Lord about the direction of my ministry in Montenegro. It was about making
a home a sanctuary, making sacred out of the mundane of washing little feet and
doing dishes. Trusting God that the gospel would shine out from our home like a City
on a Hill in a dark land, and that that would be ENOUGH.
I spent the first term completely rejecting this word, his
calling, these notions of rest, grace and abundance, and instead opted for the
striving and struggle of the self righteous seen things. I wanted something
that felt good, that looked amazing to the seeing eyes.
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When we got back to the states, exhausted from my efforts,
repentant and in pain, wondering what it was all for. GOD was pulling me deeper
into studying the first book of Chronicles to show me His Story.
David did the same thing. BEFORE he built this HOME for the
Sanctuary, He was gravely humbled... In Chapter 21 He decides to number his
armies. He decides to bask in the Glory of Seen Strengths. He Numbers HIS OWN
resources.
This act is so putrid to God, The Lord decides to destroy
the entire nation of Israel.
GOD WILL KILL ANYTHING BUILT ON PRIDE.
HE WILL DESTROY ANY FALSE HOPE.
For our good.
"that rod of correction which drives out the
foolishness that is bound up in the heart, the foolishness of pride" (Henry James on Chronicles 21)
The Pain of God's correction is so
real, it is often difficult to walk in faith that it is for our good. To bless
the name of the one who slays us.
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But the story doesn't end on death and correction...He is
working for us an eternal weight of Glory, the forever story of promise and redemption.
David Repents. He builds an alter of Humility. God decides
to build his sanctuary on the place of the alter, on the place of HUMILITY and REPENTANCE.
God was working the first term for my good, for His Kingdom.
Sacrifice is never build on our seen things. Our Bible
degrees, our Ministry Goals, Our Visions statements, Our Armies, Our resources.
Sacrifice is Built from Humility.
Grace flows from Repentance.
My first term was the foundation of humility and brokenness that
God desires to build his Sanctuary.
Chronicles 21 was our first term, Chronicles 28 is the
promise of the future. Henry James says this about David's heart change from
Chapter 21 to 28...
"There is a great deal of difference between the
frame of David’s spirit in the beginning of the former chapter and in the
beginning of this. There, in the pride of his heart, he was numbering the
people; here, in his humility, preparing for the service of God. Before there
was corruption, but the well of living water in the soul, though it may be
muddied, will work itself clear again, grace here has the victory."
God destroy my armies, Build Your temple.
