Feasting

I often get overwhelmed and get mad at God that he is not changing me fast enough. In the words of Inigo Montoya. "I hate waiting". 

As we begin my second favorite month, a month where we celebrate abundance. I want to praise God for his abundance. Praise God for the work he is doing in me when i simply look back and have eyes to see. 

When we began our first term I was challenged by our budget. We never seemed to have enough. I was used to America. So I began to tighten the reigns, began to 'be more responsible'. I began a mentality of scarcity when it came to food and everything that cost money because I believed it was my job to make it work. So if Jesse wanted a third helping of Chicken Alfredo when i planned on using the leftovers the next day, or our electricity bill was higher because we had guest, I would cringed inside. My heart and hands closing and becoming tighter and tighter. I remember once crying my eyes out because I burned dinner and wasted so much food! 

God began to plea with me to simply trust him. NOT after I crunched the numbers or after it made sense on paper, but to trust Him. He told me that 

He can only do miracles in the context of belief. Provision is only miraculous if it doesn't make sense.

I must believe the impossible from the God who transcends budgets. I slowly begin to stretch out my hands,  shaky gnarled hands up to God in pathetic expectation of blessing without earned merit, and extend an open hand to others, making cookies with the last of the butter, inviting people over when we could not really afford it, dishing up second helpings, actually believing that our abundant father will provide the feast. 

Guess what?

He provides the feast. 

He multiplies the bread.

I just got done with October's finances. we save and categorize all our receipts at the end of each month. We had to by wood for the whole winter this month. All in all, about 300 Euros (500 dollars) over our monthly budget, yet the money is there.  Like manna from heaven, we still broke even on our monthly allowance. How does that make ANY logical sense? It doesn't. It's a miracle. 

The same with the boys clothes. I was so stressed about clothing them the first term. Clothes are so expensive, yet somewhere in the struggle I just gave it up to God. It's fall 2014. We have nice looking clothes for all our 3 boys for the next...wait for it...3 years.  God provides. 

I want to shout it to all my friends who struggle with their husbands spending habits..

GOD PROVIDES.

I want to yell it from the streets where we act like people are worth what they earn...

GOD PROVIDES. 

To  the unemployed husband, 

GOD PROVIDES.

He is the miracle. 

He is the feast.

 “Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost...

 buy without cost.

 “Behold, you will call a nation you do not know,
And a nation which knows you not will run to you,
Because of the Lord your God, even the Holy One of Israel;
For He has glorified you.”

 Isaiah 55: 1,5

He wants us to FEAST on His provision. 

To let the FEAST flow out to the nations. 

He is Jehovah-Jireh, My PROVIDER.